We sat down, and decided to talk for a while. He was a month into his college, and I was two. So we decided to tell one story each to each other.
He related, of course, the well heard tales of the first time you see the cadavers. Pravra. Ten people vomited, and one girl fainted (one girl keeps fainting, I’ll come back to that later.) One of the pranks they played on this guy was to cut off the skin of this cadaver, from the chest, so they got this huge square of skin Then, they placed the skin in nooks and corners of his room, like the shoes, the cupboards, and many other well chosen places. Poor guy wears the shoes for an entire day, and then finds out, and then washes his socks for an hour and a half straight.
Ameya (The friend), promised me that he will get skin for me from his next cadaver, which is hopefully not a female one because they have waaaaay too much fat. Another friend had promised she’ll get eyeballs (or at least mail them) but that never happened.
Skipping over trivial things like the chili competition, idiots who had to visit physiotherapists because they were not strong, but just stupid enough to go through a thousand plus twenty kilo dumbbell lifts, seniors who rag them by making everyone tie red ribbons or take books to school only in a bucket, or the fact that they don’t bathe for three or four days, we come to the birthday tradition that has evolved.
If I were in Medical college, I would get to write SUCH a fucking cool book. Maybe I will still go ahead and do it.
Apparently, there is this guy called Neeraj, if I remember it. Now in the middle of the night, this guy gets bored, so he grabs his roomies, and heads out into the hostel. Their plan was to knock on doors, and give the purple nurple to anyone who opens the door. If you don’t know what this is, basically you grab the nipples of the unfortunate fellow, and wrench it around as hard as you can.
There is also a medical limit to this, not because of the skin on the nipple, but because of the limited muscular movement of you hand in that position.
So they did it, and got a fair few punches. Two days after the memory was still fresh, and the nipples were still burning, this guy has a birthday. So they put cake in his ass, grab his balls, punch, kick and basically molest him, and put shaving foam (and in later occasions, toothpaste because it is far cheaper) all over his body, and when all of this is done, everyone gives him a purple nurple.
This has become the template for all birthday celebrations, and now people who try to inflict others with their body foam/paste gets the nurple.
Also, the inside view of the fool proof institution is that it is not foolproof at all. As much as half the school are those “management” seats students, who have paid upwards of a third of a lakh to get in. This is true even for colleges here, were the best you get are around eight management seats. Some have a preference for management seats, and take in students by merit if and only if there are no management contenders or the seats. I would LOVE to give examples, but cannot because I am scared that I will be kicked out, like the chap who was fired because his blog badmouthed the company.
Coming back to the medical school, when they are dissecting and stuff, some dismembered hands are stuck or caught in weird ways, so they actually have to wrench the dead arm and twist it to get it into position. This means that all the formalin gets squeezed out. My friend once rested his hands on the stomach of his cadaver named adaveraca in goot, (a language we invented,) and just as he applied a little too much pressure on the stomach, the formalin flows right out of the poor dead fellow’s ass.
He told me about really cool things that make you doubt Darwinism, or at least comprehend the beauty of it. Cool things like internal skin that compartmentalizes the entire body. I did not know that arteries and veins to important parts of the body fuse up after separating, something that is called Anastomosis. For example, the vein that runs down your arms, splits up below the elbow and then comes back together at the palm. So even if one of them is blocked, the other one can supply blood to the entire hand. I thought that once a blood vessel splits, it does not eventually hook up, but seems such a thing keeps happening in the human body. Which means that the body becomes a very complicated thing, with the armpits having the most confusing mess of nerves, vessels and lymph nodes possible. Each nerve in your entire body is basically one cell, so that’s why a cracked nerve is impossible to cure. It’s just one cell extending from the brain to different parts of the body. One more thing is that it is impossible to keep your hand twisted, your elbow folded, and raise your hands above 90 degrees laterally. He told me of really dangerous ways in which you can injure yourself, a prominent one amongst these being falling on the palms of your hands. If a small part of the bone breaks there, the muscles will drag it upwards into the hand, which will damage the nerves, which will end up in all your digits being eternally folded at the joints. Also, there is also this huge anastomosis at the brain, called the Willis Circle, where 15 vessels hook up and ensure that the brain is under constant blood supply no matter what.
This is just uber cool
Would post more interesting things, but my father wants to use the computer for some accounts right now so...
I will blog the rules of goot tomorrow.
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