Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Saw the movie. One heck of a low budget fart in your general direction. Will have to call myself someone who wipes the bottoms of other persons for thinking that this was another Tomb Raider / Indiana Jones movie. I have woken up to the Pythons. Damn me. Pink Floyd loved them enough to finance the movie from the proceeds from the dark side of the moon. I think a Pink Floyd album also supported a Hitchhiker's venture, or Douglas Adams got to name one of their albums. Pretty tied in the whole thing... because coconuts were used instead of Horses in radiop plays (as long as the script didn't require that the horses neigh). Funny that coconuts were used instead of horses even in the movie. Makes you wonder how coconuts really migrate. Would have dedicated my time in calculating the windspeed velocity of a swallow, but imdb has all the answers. The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles per hour, beating its wings 7-9 times per second rather than 43. And a 5 ounce bird cannot carry a one pound coconut. However, they do not specify if it is a European or African swallow, so there is still some room for research. amazing logic though:


Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!


A must watch movie. Really well made. Low Budget, but man the scripting cracks you up from the credits.

More excerpts:

His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis split...

Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then?
The Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king.
Large Man with Dead Body: Why?
The Dead Collector: He hasn't got shit all over him.

King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Dingo: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
All: And me. And me too. And me.
Dingo: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.
Dingo: And after the spanking, the oral sex.
Galahad: Well, I could stay a bit longer...

Funnily enough, people in India are not even aware of the movie. Lightning strikes in the darkest places. Listening to numb or such by Infected Mushrooms. Got the movie off LAN.

2 comments:

Jugular Bean said...

Monty Python is awesomage! I've been downloading the series of late!

filterkaapi said...

man watever li'l i saw of it, was hillarontiously funnybulous. hav 2 make time 2 c d whole thing!